My mom has now been studying teenagers and teenage behavior and stuff, and gone to classes and everything on how to be a mom, she has now gotten a "license" so to say, and can hold classes where she tells others about her experience on being a mom and what that takes, one day my mom came and told me this then followed up by saying "what is your opinion on this? do you think I have been a good mom"
. I remember it was so hard for me not to spill out everything, that I think she failed me as a mom, and that she has done nothing to earn that respect and title. I just looked at her and said "Do what you want to do"
with a tone in my voice secretly saying "I honestly don't care, just leave me alone"
. some weeks past (maybe a month or two) and she started to bring this pedagogical stuff into the house, I see countless books on how to be a good parent, how to make your teenagers productive and willing to help. all I see from these titles are grown ups who have labeled the entire teenage "race" (<-so to say) as lazy, no good, rude, loud and just a pain in the ass. People and especially grown ups need to realize that by having that image in mind from day one, we are gonna turn into that, because they think "oh he/she is turning 13 now, here comes the faces, and the hate and the loud music"
I agree for most teenagers this is what happens, but that is because this is the time when we start figuring out
- who we are
- what we want to be
- what style of music we like
- what style of clothing we want to wear
- what kind of person we want others to see us as
we start thinking on everything in the world, so yes we are gonna have "faces" and "episodes" because we are trying to figure out (a lot of stuff but mostly) who we are, and what we want to be.
at this time if we are labeled as lazy and no good, it is not gonna help us, we are trying to figure out so much, and it increases the stress and when our parents then give us lectures and just never support us, of course we are gonna be mad and push you away, because that is what you are doing to us. I understand that you want your kid to be happy and then finding out your kid is in an emo episode (most common example not saying this is what happens to everyone or anyone for that matter, just the most common example) in life and decide to stay that way, seems like they have given up on everything and just hates everything, and of course you have the parents that are completely against their kid being those kinds of things. but if they choose to stay that way, it means they found who they are and what they want to be, you shouldn't push them away, you should support their decision, because NEWS FLASH PARENTS
, kids actually want you to be happy for them and support who they are more then anything! when you push us away and shun us for nothing, or for being who we want to be and living the life we want, you are making us feel horrible for not being able to make you proud. We look up to you, when you then spit in our faces and laugh at our dreams, you are destroying us, and make us hate you in return, and then when you come back wondering where you went wrong, you can not expect us to be straight up honest and say it when it is obvious to us what you did wrong and where you failed. And then you have the parents who lay out their kids life when they are in the womb "my kid is gonna be a doctor", "my kid is gonna be a lawyer", "my kid is gonna be an artist of some kind".
You have no right to decide what your kid is gonna be, you should rather cherish what your kid grows up to be, if they then turn out to want to be what you dreamed, then you have reason to celebrate, but if you get disappointed and think they are messing up their life, then you are doing it wrong. So people and adults seriously need to understand not ever person is alike, we see the world differently some may share these differences and some don't. But that does not mean you should go around labeling a group of people and start of stereotypes. Do your research from good sources, like the people that are actually labeled as these things. If grow ups could do this then go on a limb and say that they do this and that from watching the wrong individuals, and then writing books and telling people this is how it is and this is what you need to do, you are gonna ruin the lives of your children. They think they know exactly what's wrong without even studying the matter, you don't just look at a person who can't pick up a cup and label them as "muscle damage, brain damage, difficulty learning and adapting"
(lame example but you get my point) or someone who cuts and say "he/she is emo, they probably do it for attention, they probably love to bleed and watch people die and torturing animals and humans"
You have no idea how their life is, or what they experience at home, you do not even know this person, if you went up and asked them they could tell you why, some might say "I am in so much pain and I need to get rid of it"
(for some cutters it releases a pressure and gives the brain a relaxed feeling, but also gives them a feeling of lost and shame) others might say "I am angry and I hate myself, I deserved this"
. You also have grown ups in certain jobs like teachers whom all think the same way (not saying they are all the same, but it is proven that there are too many of them) these are grown ups that think just because one method works and was successful, this will work on every single individual with the same problem. This is not true, we are not all the same, certain groups of people have the same problem, but that does not mean you can solve it the same way every time. And certain people learn the same way, that does not mean we all learn that way and that you should take your one and only success into every other problem you face in teenagers. They will go to so long extents as to interfere with the child's personal life and drag that into the teaching method. REALLY!
, it is a reason it is called PRIVATE LIFE
, to some kids/teens it helps to ask them if they have problems at home, but to be honest and from personal experience with me and several friends, if you leave us alone and don't push us to tell and give us reason to trust you, we will tell you what is wrong, why we won't listen or pay attention in class, why we fight and argue, why we have trouble focusing and what helps us, we will tell because we trust you, if you come every single day for a week and ask us the same question, it will be like someone poking you on the shoulder at the same spot over and over, it gets annoying, we will not trust you, we will not like you, we will do whatever we can to avoid you! if you could just see that and let us come to you then it would be better for us all. And when there isn't anything at home bothering us, and you keep questioning us like we are lying, why would we come to you when there actually is something, because then the impression you give us is that person is annoying and make us think "if I tell them they will just keep bothering me and question me everyday, I can't handle that stress right now better leave it for myself"
. Then you have the teachers who are so obsessed with us learning certain things, that they even pull in your classmates and best friends to help you learn....REALLY!
are you that obsessed on us learning something that you not only put pressure on us, but our friends...It is your job, LITERARILY
, to teach us, you should not put the job on someone else especially not a student just because you can't find the obvious reasons on how to make us learn. And when grown ups then ask us why we are failing school and we tell them the teacher is the blame, they look at us like we are pushing excuses, we are not, we are doing what you thought us to do, being honest and telling you! it is your fault for not listening. But that is what happens when you label us, you are so stuck in the image you made of us that you can't see the real deal. People are so obsessed on being right that they forget to focus on the core, not the shell. You can't just label everyone from one incident and certain individuals. Do your research on the matter. We are not our labels!Rant overIf you read all of this then I thank you, and I appreciate you took the time to read through my rant. What you choose do do now is up to you, feel free to share, or even ignore it, the next move is up to you